so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
