I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Welp...herpes.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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