I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
