Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
You took a bar mat shot.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize