I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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