Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
