We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
