shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
