I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
