just come out here and I will go home with you...
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize