just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
