Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize