so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
