there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
