Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
