Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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