dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
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