Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
