I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
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