If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I stole a fireplace last night.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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