The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize