I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Randomize
