True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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