Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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