i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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