even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
