And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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