I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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