I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
