So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
