So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
