The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
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