is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
