I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
