I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
