I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
