I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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