My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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