I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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