Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
