I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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