Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
