I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Don't make out with my wife yet
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I just want nice things and good sex
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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