the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
