he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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