this just has baby written all over it
nutella sex= disaster
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
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