My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
