moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
