its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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