I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
