a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
