Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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