so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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