Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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