we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
