Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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