GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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